Echoism: Not a Disorder, but a Concept
Now it is important to note that echoism is not a formally recognised psychiatric disorder. It is, however, considered a construct or a concept used to describe certain patterns of behaviour and personality traits.
Echoism vs. High Sensitivity
There are a lot of similarities and crossovers with echoism and with highly sensitive people; however, there are some key differences. For instance, with highly sensitive people, we see sensory processing sensitivity and heightened responses to external stimuli. However, echoism primarily revolves around self-minimization and fear of being seen as selfish and narcissistic.
Origins of the Term
It comes from the Greek mythological character Echo, who was known for her ability to mimic and repeat the words of others. The term Echoism was coined by Dr. Craig Malkin in 2015, and he goes more in-depth into the subject. But it describes certain behavioural patterns such as self-effacement, self-sacrifice, and a strong inclination to prioritise other people's needs and desires over one's own.
Core Beliefs of Echoism
Echoism is rooted in a deep-seated belief that one's thoughts, feelings, and desires are not as important as other people. People exhibiting echoistic traits often downplay or dismiss their own needs and consistently defer to the wishes and demands of others. Now it's not the same as being shy or introverted. As I said previously, it revolves around the fear of seeming to be narcissistic. Echolalic people avoid attention, they abandon their own needs, and they engage in people-pleasing behaviours. They over-apologise, and in some cases, they even isolate themselves.
Causes of Echoistic Traits
People who exhibit echoistic traits may have experienced emotional neglect or invalidation either in their upbringing or in a long-term relationship, leading them to develop a core belief that their thoughts, feelings, and desires are insignificant. It can also come, however, from being heavily influenced by other echoists. Echolalic people may fear being seen as a burden, might go to great lengths to avoid conflict, or disappointing others. As a result, they can become highly skilled at echoing or reflecting the desires and needs of others, often at the expense of their well-being. Echoism is seen as the opposite or the counterpoint to narcissism.
Echoism vs. Narcissism
While narcissistic people tend to have a huge sense of entitlement, they seek constant attention, constant validation, those with echoistic tendencies tend to downplay or dismiss their own needs, their feelings, sometimes to an extreme extent. They may struggle to assert themselves, set boundaries, or advocate for their interests.
Common Characteristics of Echoism
So some of the common characteristics and traits of echoism would be, firstly, just like their namesake Echo, they struggle to have their voice, their own identity. They echo the opinions, beliefs, feelings, and needs of others. They choose to play things down or give credit for their own ideas or their own work to others rather than to be the centre of attention.
They can feel uncomfortable with compliments or praise, often deflecting or giving others credit for their efforts. Secondly, echoistic people often prioritise the needs of others at the expense of their well-being. They may neglect self-care, suppress their desires, and suppress their own emotions just to maintain harmony in their relationships. This can lead to low self-esteem and a diminished sense of self-worth. Prioritising others, continually trying to meet the expectations and desires of others, can lead to a lack of fulfilment. Next, they can lack assertiveness.
They can have difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries. They may have a fear of disappointing or inconveniencing others. They can struggle to say no, or could be talked down quite easily. They tend to be self-effacing and avoid conflict at all costs. Another common trait would be that they don't like putting themselves forward, even when they have a good idea or good solutions, or they could well be the best person for the role. In many cases, they like to stay hidden in plain sight, maybe work behind the scenes, and allow others to take the credit for their work.
Emotional Challenges
Also, echoistic people might struggle connecting with their own emotions as well as having difficulty expressing them. There can be different reasons for this, one being they could just become so adept at suppressing their feelings just to avoid conflict or rejection. They can overcompensate, can be very accommodating, very forgiving. They might over-apologise, over-explain, and engage in people-pleasing behaviours. Now, in a relationship or a situation where people are genuinely selfish, narcissistic, this can't lead them to being coerced and manipulated.
Echoism in Relationships
So, in conclusion, while narcissism involves an excessive focus on oneself, on the need for admiration, echoism involves an excessive focus on others and a lack of assertiveness and self-identity. And the fear of being seen as selfish or attention seeking, taking up space, never standing up for themselves, or holding anyone else to account can be appealing to narcissistic types.
In imbalanced relationships where their own needs and desires are consistently overshadowed by others, well, this can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and a sense of being taken for granted. However, they feel stuck out of the fear of offending. Echoism can lead to a lack of growth, suppression of their true self, regret over missed opportunities, and an inability to make true, meaningful connections with others. Which can lead to further anxiety and depression.
Addressing Echoism
I think addressing egoism might begin by recognising the difference between selfishness and self-interest. Recognise as well the difference between caring about and caring for. And also recognising there are normal healthy levels of feelings like anger, guilt, and disappointment. And understanding no isn't a bad word. Maybe learning that people don't have to sacrifice their happiness and well-being, even their future, just to appease or to pacify others, especially those who may be the cause of the misery in the first place. But in therapy, people can learn and build on self-awareness around repeated patterns of behaviour, and understand the reasons behind the beliefs that drive those behaviours. Practising self-care and self-compassion is important as well. This can involve nurturing one's own well-being, acknowledging personal worth, and engaging in activities that can promote self-growth and fulfilment.
Conclusion and Future Exploration
So that's a brief outline of echoism. Now, at the moment, research into echoism is limited, but I'll confess it's something I'd like to learn more about, so maybe I'll look at it again in the future. Perhaps it might even look more in-depth at the crossovers and the differences between echoists and highly sensitive people. So, as always, if there's anything I've missed, anything you might like to add, please use the comment box below. As always, some interesting conversations start from these videos. But if you find this interesting, please consider subscribing to my channel, and until next time, thanks for watching.
